I cannot imagine being a military spouse. I cannot imagine being the spouse of a police officer or a fireman. In the last few years, it’s hard not to watch the television and see the stories of soldiers going overseas for months to years at a time. It’s hard not see the stories of the deaths of soldiers, police officers and firemen in the line of duty.
It’s hard not to feel compassion and sympathy for those left behind.
Yet, no matter how much compassion or sympathy I feel – I cannot imagine being in their position. I would hate the feelings associated with living in a state of fear. I know that is an exaggeration, but men and women alike have to accept that there may be a day when their spouse doesn’t come home when they marry someone in these areas.
That doesn’t mean death doesn’t touch the rest of us. Yes, my husband could be in a car crash. Yes, he could have a heart attack. But he does not put himself in harm’s way. He does not put himself out there where the chances he could not come home were increased exponentially.
The stress of such fear can put a tremendous strain on military marriages, police marriages and marriages to firemen. So how do they cope? How do they face each and every day? A friend of mine, married to a police officer for more than fifteen years, summed it up.
It’s who he is. That’s whom she married. She loved his sense of duty, his sense of honor and his sense of commitment. She does not think of it in the sense that he might not come home, but instead celebrates each and every day that he does. It’s easy to get caught up in fear, but letting fear rule a marriage is as bad as letting hate rule your life.
The ones left behind are the ones that are loved and who love. They are the support network and are in turn supported. I salute each and every spouse that makes that commitment because in their way – they are the heroes for our heroes. And everyone needs a hero – I wish I were as strong as he or she, but his or her strength inspires me.