Is there an optimum time to have children? Once, people married young and had children young. These days, many couples choose to delay having children and that can cause its own problems as older mothers are more at risk of children with compilations like Downs Syndrome.
The other thing is that often women are more involved with their career and are less likely to want to give it up for family. Sadly, many older women are choosing to abort because they see their career as the prime focus.
Having children as soon as you are married can also be a strain on the couple relationship. You are still trying to get to know each other when there’s an addition that will upset that balance. Personally, I think it’s good if you can have two-three years of married life before children come along so that you get to know each other better first. But that’s not always possible and others may have different ideas.
Even when you do get talking about the topic of children you may find you differ. Suppose he wants a whole tribe and you only want one or two or vice versa? This is something that needs to be discussed before marriage and an agreement reached. But suppose one person changes their mind and wants a child, while the other one is still adamant about waiting? Then what are you going to do?
If this happens there is only solution is to talk it through with your spouse until you can reach a decision that is acceptable to both parties. If you’re the one who wants the child and your husband isn’t convinced don’t give him and ultimatum by falling pregnant and forcing the situation on him. This could be a sure fire way to end up with a broken marriage.
Similarly what if one of you doesn’t want children at all? Perhaps they’ve been married before and got older children and don’t want to go through it again. Or maybe, and there are people like this, who simply don’t want children. Could you live happily with such a decision? These are some of the questions you need to thrash out before you get married.
Or maybe you only want one child. There is nothing wrong with a one child family, just as there is nothing wrong with a family with multiple children. But more about that another time.
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