I grew up with television. I mean literally television to this day comforts me. When it is on, it is as if an old friend has come over to the house. But, I have a problem. I take everything I see at face value.
This whole Chris Benoit thing has really messed me up this week. First, we heard he, his wife, and seven-year-old son were dead. I must guiltily admit that after I heard they were found in their home, I thought maybe someone had snapped and killed the family. And I don’t mean someone from outside the home. The news is filled with moms, dads, sons, or daughters having their family killed, which is just sad and scary at the same time. And, when I thought someone had snapped, I thought it was Chris, due to steroid use. He was not a small man by any means, but in the wrestling world, he was a little person. He was 5’ 10,” but if you watch him on the screen next to other wrestlers, he is dwarfed in size.
So, yesterday, I am just thinking that the steroids made him do this. Ah finally, mind mine was a little more at ease – I had found an excuse. But what really disturbs me as more and more details of the Benoit family’s death is unveiled; the officials now think steroids weren’t to blame. I don’t think they know all the ins and outs of steroid use, but they are saying “’roid rage” is usually very sudden. The fact that he tied up his wife and killed his family members at different times points to the fact that this whole murder/suicide was premeditation, not impulsive “’roid rage.”
I am really having a hard time wrapping my mind around this whole thing. It is not that I am that big a wrestling fan or that Chris Benoit was even one of my favorites – he wasn’t. But he was a guy that, every time I watched wrestling, seemed to be normal. He came out and did his job that he seemed to love. The fans adored him; by all accounts, his fellow wrestlers loved and admired him. He had been in the business for a long time and was one of the more successful wrestlers. I just cannot imagine what went wrong. It puzzles me to think that I could see someone on television acting so normal week after week after week suddenly snap and kill his family.
Now, I am not totally naïve, but like I said, I take things at face value. To realize that the characters actors play on television (and yes, the wrestlers are playing characters) do not necessarily reflect their real life personality, but that is something I seriously have to concentrate on to remember.
And Benoit is just the latest to shock me. I grew up loving “I Love Lucy.” To this day, it remains one of my favorite shows. But, it seems the couple we saw on television were not quite the couple that existed in real life. They often fought. It has been said that Ricky cheated on Lucy in real life. In fact, “I Love Lucy” was developed to try to save their marriage. It worked for several years, but eventually the two divorced. And, it seems that I remember their daughter and son both saying they loved their parents very much, but growing up in that household was far from easy. William Frawley (who played Fred) was an alcoholic and it is said that Vivian Vance (who played Ethel) could hardly stand being in a shot with him. I’ve also read that Vivian was not happy to play a frumpy, older housewife character compared to Lucy Ricardo (they were actually only two years apart in age).
But, the characters of “I Love Lucy” were able to play it up so well on screen, that over 50 years later, people still love Lucy and the cast. So maybe that is how I make sense of the Benoit tragedy – I just tell myself that he was playing a character on television. Unfortunately, unlike the Lucy cast, he will be remembered more for his real life behavior than for the good guy he played on WWE.