Two things struck me recently from a novel I read. Randall,the male character says ’we’re each of us given certain gifts and certain faults.’ I agree, although sometimes those faults can also be a gift. I’m inclined to think many, if not all, negative characteristics have a positive side to them as well.
However it was this comment that intrigued me. ‘Sometimes it seems the more extreme person’s goodness is, the more extreme her weaknesses.’ What do others think about this/?
The comment came from a novel Custody by Nancy Thayer LINK to write and read blog but it’s often through fiction that we learn so much about the world and ourselves. We’ve been talking about reading fiction, what we read and why on the forum.
But back to the idea that the more extreme a person’s goodness is the more extreme his or her weakness. It could be talking about a person I knew, who as so generous with their time, using it to help others that they neglected their own family which caused resentment. Or the minister who was so involved in church activities that his own family hardly ever saw him. What it bred in the family was resentment and it ended up turning one of his sons away from Christianity all together.
Then there was the woman so generous to others that she gave away to friends those things which had special meaning to family members who would have liked to keep them. Or the person who is so patient that they drive others crazy because they always give in. Then there’s the woman whose husband cheated and later divorced her after he found someone else. It appears he felt her love revolved around church and church meetings and he felt neglected. Although he professed to be a Christian too, he wanted someone to play attention to him. Or the person who is so conscientious and determined to do well that perfectionism takes over and they end up stressing themselves and other people around them. Or the person who is honest to a fault. They say things not caring how it sounds or whether they are hurting others in the process. These are not fictional characters but real people I have known.
Another example might be the person so focused on their career or talent that they never see other people and their needs.
Yet those who work with the dying will tell you what most people regret when dying is that they spent too much time earning money and on careers and not enough time on building and maintaining relationships. It’s something that should make us think about where our priorities are.
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