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The Pressure to Perform

I hope you think that this is an oddly titled blog. I hope something about coupling the pressure to perform with babies strikes you as unnatural. It should. If it doesn’t, then you definitely need to keep reading.

I am not really writing this as a mom today. I am writing this as a former child care professional married to another early childhood professional. We have, over the years, watched hundreds of parents and hundreds of kids. I may even dare to say we’ve watched thousands.

It is concerning to me how our culture is pressuring kids to grow up at a younger and younger age. I was at my daughter’s gymnastics class yesterday and there is a girl there in a class for 2 & 3 year olds who really hates gymnastics. She cries and cries every time her mom or her nanny drops her off. She cries until the teacher brings her out again.

It’s not the teacher that’s the problem. My kids have had those teachers and they’re wonderful. I couldn’t possibly imagine what the child could find wrong with them. And it’s not the child. She doesn’t act particularly spoiled or badly behaved in general. The poor thing just really hates gymnastics. Did I mention she’s not even a full blown three yet?

I watched her interact with her mother yesterday and in between sobs you would hear, “I (sniffle) don’t want (sob) to go (sob) in there (loud wailing).” This to me is a cue that she has no desire to flip upside down or bounce from apparatus to mat in the same way that my children do. This too should be a hint to the mother. But it wasn’t.

Mom got mad and called dad. Dad got mad and yelled at girl. In the end, the girl ‘won’ (although I really don’t think this was about a power struggle) because they couldn’t get her to stop crying and therefore they couldn’t send her back in.

The most amazing thing? This girl was 30 months! She’s not even a full 3 years old! She is still a toddler! Why, oh why would someone force their child into classes that young? What’s amazing is that this really isn’t that isolated of an incident. This blog is about one girl. But my husband can attest to the fact that every September and ever February, he spends his time cajoling 2 and 3 year olds to take his class. Some end up loving it and others never take a liking to it, but I think that’s irrelevant.

Moms and dads, there is no reason to force your child into something like gymnastics, ballet, or sports at an early age. If they are crying, or they hate it, then this should be your cue that it’s not working. Instead, take him home, cuddle him and read or play outside. There is plenty of time for the rest.