I have written, erased and re-written this blog about a dozen times. Words defy me in this case. I know that I don’t even have to give an introduction to this story because “Baby Grace” has been all over the news. You have to live in a hole under a rock in a cave to not know to whom I’m referring. I think those of us who are mothers are reeling at the thought of hurting our own children in that way. It is incomprehensible.
Today, as news of Baby Grace trickles out, the mother said that the boyfriend killed the child because she refused to say “please” and “yes sir”. Now whether or not there is any truth in that we may never know. But we know that she was abused and we know that in the end, that abuse took her life. In fact, more than 2,000 children under the age of two die every year due to injuries sustained from child abuse or neglect.
I can’t do anything about those deaths. Anyone who knows me and my husband well, knows that if space allowed, we’d take in all those children–every last one. But that’s not possible and so today I offer my meager attempt at doing something for this little girl. Let’s focus on how we can prevent more “Baby Graces.”
Get postpartum depression treated. It is a real, and serious disease that needs the help of a medical professional. If you find that your spouse is suffering from PPD, help her find her way to a doctor.
Keep your anger in check. If you find yourself overwhelmed, it’s okay to leave the baby in a safe place and walk away. It’s okay to ask for help. If you can’t get that from family or friends, it’s okay to tell your child’s pediatrician that you’re struggling. He or she should be able to point you to appropriate resources.
Get yourself a social network that will support you in parenting. Parenting is hard work, and parents need a crutch sometimes. Find people with whom you can talk about frustrations and issues. There is always a better way than to hit your child.
Particularly applicable to this case is a reminder that Moms, your primary job is to protect your child. Your child comes first. . .before any romantic entanglements. If you meet someone who is really worth your time, they will treat your child as well as they treat you. If they don’t, you need to leave. Don’t let someone else, be it a boyfriend, or family member hurt your child. You are the parent and as tempting as it is to pass the job off at times, you need to do the parenting.
I can’t help but wonder who was around this baby who suspected or thought something was weird. I am willing to bet that this wasn’t the first beating. If you see abuse, report it. You could prevent another Baby Grace from happening.
See also:
Law Aimed at Preventing Shaken Baby Syndrome