One morning last week on Today, they interviewed a Catholic priest who’d been the stir of a recent New York Times article. Though he’d been a clergyman for like 50 years, had never been married, and was celibate, he seemed to have an idea about what qualities a woman should look for in a man if she wanted to live happily ever after with him.
The Priest’s Interview
I’m not sure what the article was about, but what the priest talked about on Today was who you should and shouldn’t marry –and how you’ll know the difference. How to do that? With a list!
The Five Must Haves
1. Change. We’ve said it here in the Marriage Blog before and we’ll say it again: accept your significant other at face value. Don’t see them as they could be (i.e. how you want them and hope they’ll become). See them for who they are right now and love them like that or leave them be.
2. His relationship with his mother. If it’s too tight, such as he needs her clearance on what underwear he’ll don that day, beware. Conversely, if it’s not tight enough, beware. However, if he treats his mother with respect and kindness? Like Lyn once wrote, you can expect he’ll treat you the same.
3. Friends. What kind of relationship does he have with his friends? If they’re always the priority and he finds it hard to pull himself away from them to spend time with you, marriage won’t change that. On the other hand, no friends shows he might have commitment problems, which also doesn’t bode well for what you can expect from your relationship.
4. Money. Ah, this is the one almost every couple has to contend with at some juncture or another. The priest said it’s common for one person in the relationship to be a spender and the other a saver. If that’s the case, the key to marital bliss is accepting this early on and working out a way for handling money you can both agree on.
5. Humor. As you’re well aware, life isn’t always rosy, happy and light. When tough times hit, you’ll appreciate having someone who can make you laugh even when you don’t feel like it. It’s what’ll help get you through.
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