I have to warn you all that this probably won’t be my last and only blog posting about “the prom”—my eldest daughter has just informed me that she will be going to her Junior-Senior Prom this year (she’s a Junior), and this ANOTHER new development/milestone for us. See, I say “us” as though I am going to the prom too, when in fact, I’m really more like the stage manager and prop master. In reality, I’m actually a little confused about exactly what I am supposed to do now that “we” are going to next month’s prom…
Now, my daughter has been to her share of dances—in fact, I don’t think she’s missed very many. She usually goes with “the gang”—a bunch of her friends all going off the dances together. It sounds as though the plan for the prom is still to try to go as a group and do “group” stuff as much as possible—but there’s still this whole dress, shoes, date thing to contend with. While she’s playing it cool and smooth, I’m not entirely convinced she’s sure what she’s supposed to do about the whole dress, shoes and date thing either.
I’ve vowed that I’m not stepping in and taking over. I have already been to the prom (in my emerald green 80’s satin dress, thank you very much). My daughter’s seen the pictures and I’m quite certain she doesn’t trust my taste in prom dresses because of them. So far, my approach has been to ask her what she’d like to do and what she sees my role as being? Am I doing alterations? Taking her shopping? Staying out of the way? It’s strange how the tables have turned and I’m trying to take my cues from her instead of my being the one “in charge.” Perhaps proms are not only to prepare teenagers for more formal, adult functions in real life, but also another opportunity to prepare parents for the long process of letting go…
See Also: Encouraging Group Activities and Dating