There are times when the “happily ever after” ends in divorce. When this happens, couples who are parents must sort out custody and visitation rights. Co-parenting is an option that may work out well for couples that can get along with each other post-divorce. There are also situations where co-parenting just isn’t going to work smoothly.
Positive Aspects of Co-Parenting
There is a celebrity example of what co-parenting looks like when it works well. Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony split up in 2011. In 2015, they posted on Instagram a family photo from the birthday party of their 7-year-old twins. Everybody sure looks like they are having a good time!
One thing that makes co-parenting work is when both parents truly desire to put their children first – in all situations. In addition, it helps if the two parents are honestly able to be friends with each other. Both parents are adult enough to understand that arguing with each other in front of the kids is stressful for all involved.
Co-parenting can give children a healthy way to maintain a good relationship with each parent. The child can spend time with, and express affection for, each parent without the stress of wondering if doing so hurts the other parent’s feelings. Both parents can attend birthday parties and other family holidays without having their presence cause drama.
One thing to keep in mind about a good co-parenting situation is a common belief that many children have. It is natural for children, who see that their divorced parents still like each other, to assume this means the parents will get back together. Take the time to make it clear to the kids that mom and dad are not going to get married to each other again. Let them know you are friends now.
Negative Aspects of Co-Parenting
There is a real-world example of when co-parenting isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. Leah Porritt wrote about her experience with co-parenting for Huffington Post. She and her ex split up when their son was 18 months old. The son doesn’t have memories of mom and dad being together. She discusses what it is like when co-parenting is a frustrating struggle. She reminds parents not to judge their experience with co-parenting by comparing how it works for other parents.
Co-parenting can also be problematic when two parents absolutely cannot get along with each other. It’s not good for kids to watch their parents get into big, loud, dramatic fights every time they get together. In this situation, it might be best for the children to spend time time with each parent separately. The kids can have a relationship with each parent – without drama.
Related Articles at Families.com:
* Building a Healthy Co-Parenting Relationship
* Co Parenting and Maintaining Sibling Relationships
* Re-Visit Co-parenting Assumptions