Zzzzz……… Zzzzzz………… Oh, I’m sorry. How embarrassing! I must have fallen asleep. But then, that’s what this movie will do to you.
“The Secret of Roan Inish” is the PG-rated story of a ten-year-old girl named Fiona whose mother has recently died. Her father isn’t able to take proper care of her and her older brothers are all working long hours to keep the rest of the family afloat, so Fiona is sent to the small fishing village of Donegal, Ireland, to live with her grandparents. Upon her arrival, she starts hearing tales of her ancestors, all true Irishmen and women, loyal to their heritage.
The family lived on an island called Roan Inish, but when Fiona was very small, conflict between the English and the Irish forced their evacuation. They came over to the mainland, but they stayed near the shore where they could just make out their beloved home. Just before they set sail, a tide came up and swept away the baby, left too near the water in his cradle. They tried to get him back, but the water was too swift.
As Fiona visits with the locals, she learns of a legend—the baby is now a toddler and still sails the water in his cradle, friends with all the sea creatures. She wants to see him so badly, and wants him to be a part of the family again, but what if it’s just a legend?
Meanwhile, she hears another family story. One ancestor was able to capture a selkie – a creature that could change from a seal to a woman and back again—and he made her his wife. They had many children before she returned to the sea, and so that entire branch of the family is related to the mystical beings that inhabit the deep. When Fiona does see her brother, she sees that he’s surrounded by seals, most likely his own kinfolk.
I’ve just described this movie in a much more interesting way than it’s portrayed on film. I was honestly so bored, I thought I’d be happier twisting my own tongue into knots. The advertisements all said it was a wonderful family film—I don’t know a child alive who would have sat through that whole thing. We had long stretches where absolutely nothing at all happened. The bit with the selkie was the most interesting of the film, but it only lasted about five minutes.
My advice? Let this one pass you by. There are scads of other fabulous movies out there. In fact, here are some of them.
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