First I’d like to say that I adore my kids–and on most occasions I have complete faith that they will evolve into caring, considerate and contributing adults. But, the reality of childhood and adolescence is that kids have a tendency to be amazingly self-centered. As we work to introduce all that caring, consideration, etc. into our children’s character, we are still battling against the typical self-centeredness that seems to be developmentally appropriate for a child. And, I’m here to tell you that it does sometimes aggravate me to no end!
I don’t know if it is environmental or inherent in the psyche of a child to think he is the center of the universe, but it is certainly true in my parenting world. We expect it from tiny children for whom the world appears to revolve around them, but as kids get older, it can be tough to realize that they are still seeing themselves as somehow above, beyond and only. Ugh! I find with my older teenagers that as they are developing a sense of “justice”–that fairness is pretty one-sided at this point. They can see what others are doing TO THEM and are starting to call out and expect “fair treatment” but they don’t see how they are often perpetuating the very same selfishness and self-involvement that they are accusing others of. As a parent, I vacillate between being amazed at this dichotomy and annoyed that they can’t seem to see what a traditional, strutting, self-absorbed teenager they are being!
As I mentioned earlier, I do have faith in the process (what choice do I have, really?) and I continue to attempt to refuse to indulge that self-centeredness. After all, I do think that maturity begins the day we realize that we are connected; that we are a part of this world as one of the equal players. Until my kids reach that point, I guess I have to hold out hope that the self-absorption will eventually give way to more desirable, mature character traits.
Also: Older Teens Really DON’T Come With Parenting Manuals
Letting Them Really BE Teenagers
Don’t Understand Kids? Fake It!