We are blessed to live in a townhouse complex where there are many children of different ages. The children all run around in a central area where they can play outdoors together. They play all sorts of imaginary games together. This sort of outdoor pretend play forms a large part of my childhood summer memories.
In the last few years, I’ve watched my daughter go from being a “baby” in these games to a participant. In the last nine months, she’s become an active contributor to group imaginary play. It’s intriguing when a preschooler starts to move into group play, because this is the basis of our adult social behavior.
What are the stages of play for preschoolers? When a child is three, she is just moving out of toddlerhood. She’s still very much focused on modeling and adult interactions. She wants to be like mom, dad, and any other adults she spends time with. Children in their threes tend to emulate their parents and get frustrated when they can’t do things like an adult.
Many three-year-olds are not very interested in communal play. Yes, you can get together with your friends and have a play together. However, your children may not even play side by side. Chances are that one will be on one side of the room with a puzzle, the other child will be on the other side of the room with a baby, and sometimes they will have a heated discussion about a toy that they both want to play with. This is solitary play, and three-year-olds are focused on it. It’s not something to be worried about – this stage is what comes before parallel and group play begin.
As your preschooler starts to edge towards age four, she’ll become more interested in what others are doing. If there is a group of children at the sandbox, she might go over to see what they are playing with. Why is there so much squealing and laughter? She might want to use the same toys and try our similar activities, but she doesn’t necessarily want to play with the other children.
Gradually, out of this side-by-side play come group interactions. The children begin to play together. At first, they might ask about the toys that the others are using, and this is when all of your practice sharing comes in. It can be helpful to have an adult watching at first, and then you can step back. Over time, the imaginative play of preschoolers starts to take off, and they start to pretend: forts, family play, doctor and vet play, all sorts of imaginary worlds open up.
This imaginary play is crucial for the social development of children. They’re expanding their ability to relate to others using scenarios that they create themselves. They’re working out real problems through pretend play. I love watching this and vividly remember doing this myself.
How have you found the transition into group play? Has it been easy? Challenging? Does your child have other kids to play with in your neighborhood?