I wrote yesterday about what a relief it can be as a single parent to get to a place where you’ve built up some practical reserves and are not just flying by the seat of your pants. However, since most of us are on extremely snug budgets, it might not take much to put a strain on all of our best-laid plans. In my world, my kids can be the biggest culprits for those last-minute requests.
Despite the fact that I have tried to hammer into my kids’ heads that budgeting is key in our family and that if they are going to need money for extracurricular activities, the farther in advance they tell me, the more prepared I will be—despite all this, I still get those “night before” requests for money that might not be easy for me to put my hands on! Not only is it stressful, but it can also be a blow to my self-esteem and put strain on the family budget.
In the past month, there have been college application fees, and a whopping request for advance testing fees (we’re talking in the 100’s of dollars here) and field trips. In a single parent, one wage-earner family, these are the type of requests that can really break the bank. It takes some shuffling, maneuvering and belt-tightening and that doesn’t always feel good. I can’t always blame my kids, there are plenty of last-minute requests that come from my world—friends will ask me to do something or to donate to some cause or project. Like many single parents, I’ve become adept at saying “no” and calmly stating that it isn’t something I can afford right now.
The only advice I have for dealing with the stress and strain of these constant financial requests is to try not to take it on. Tough, I know, when it comes to our kids. I want more than anything to be able to give my children every single thing they desire and I don’t like having to put things off because it isn’t in the budget. But, I also know what my limitations are and how tight my family budget is. I will regret it even more if I push that budget beyond the comfort zone! My children are gradually learning that they have a role in helping me budget and be prepared so they can do the things they want and need to, but it is taking time.
Also: Facing the Lower Income–Lower Self-Esteem Issue
Single Parents and Budgeting–Don’t Give in to Peer Pressure