I am the first to say that I try really, really hard not to judge people as parents based on my one-time observation of them and their child in public. I used to feel strongly that children whined and behaved and carried on in public because they were allowed to do so. Their parents got sick of the whining and gave in. I still think this is true and that it happens all the time. But gone are the days where I may look at a mother and think that her toddler is throwing a tantrum because he’s learned she’ll give in. I’m much more likely to assume they’re just having a bad day.
What changed my mind was Meghan. My darling sweet Meghan whose favorite color is ‘colorful’ and who always, and I mean always thinks outside of the box. I’m not even sure that she sees a box. Meghan is now four but when she was two she made me look like the worst parent in the world when we were in public on more than one occasion. There were tears, tantrums, screaming. . .you name it, she did it.
Now understand that my husband and I are a formidable force when it comes to discipline. I’m not saying that we have it down perfect. But between the two of us we’ve worked with thousands of kids in our careers and well, we’ve learned a few tricks and we‘ve definitely seen what not to do. We never give in to whining. The answer is yes or no, based on our reasoning and not our children’s. No amount of temper tantrums, can sway me or my husband. Most children very quickly learn that if they want what they want, then temper tantrums won’t cut it. And then there are the strong willed ones. . .
Meghan had (and still does have) an iron will. Forget ’strong’. While my husband and I are a brick wall, Meghan is a brick castle with steel reinforcements and a moat. It didn’t help that I was very pregnant with twins right around the time that she was turning two either. But really, it probably would not have mattered.
Do you have a strong willed toddler? This week, I am going to focus on dealing with the strong willed toddler. Believe it or not, there are very definitive characteristics that many strong willed toddlers tend to have. But the first thing is for you to learn to embrace your toddler’s strong will rather than fight against it. Look in my next blog to finish the Meghan story!