Blended families can be complicated, and they definitely take some getting used to. It is normal to have growing pains. Some of the most difficult struggles a blended family can face is when there is a teenager involved. Not all teenagers are difficult, it is just a difficult age and sometimes that in itself can cause conflict in an already sticky situation.
A teenager who is entering a blended family might be defensive, angry and defiant. While normal teenagers in any family can be this way, it can be escalated in a blended family. Teenagers need a little special handling and a bit more space to make the adjustment or transition a little smoother.
While sharing between siblings, even half siblings should be encouraged, it is more difficult for a teenager to suddenly begin sharing things they didn’t share already. In fact, they might have very clear, defined rules about what belongs to them and what doesn’t. There should be some respect involved when dealing with these situations.
It is understandable that your home could feel quite a bit smaller when another family has essentially moved into it, and there might even have to be some sharing of spaces and bedrooms. If at all possible, it is highly recommended that a teenager has a space of their own. If there is any way to give them a room in the basement or to build a wall separating one room into two rooms, this should be looked into. Teenagers need time alone, space and understanding. Making these adjustments can make a huge difference in how they interact with their new siblings and step parent.
It is possible that acting out could get worse as your teenager is getting used to the idea and adjusting to a blended family life. This should be strongly discouraged and clear rules and boundaries that are reasonable should be set into place from the very beginning. You cannot wait until it gets difficult, you need to do this from the start.
Are you dealing with any issues with your teenager in your blended family? Please let me know and I will see if I can help.
Nicole Humphrey writes on a variety of different topics here at families.com. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.