First, it was the Santa threat, and now on this 12th day of Christmas, the Feast of the Epiphany, it’s time for the thank-you threat.
We have a firm rule in our home regarding Christmas thank-you cards. The notes of appreciation need to be written by the Epiphany. This gives the child recipients more than a week to express their gratitude in words to friends and family members who generously showered them with holiday gifts.
My mom was a stickler for thank-you notes, Christmas, birthday and otherwise. In fact, my brothers and I were not allowed to open Christmas gifts simultaneously. Rather, we had to tear into them individually, so my mom could dutifully note the name of the gift giver and detail the contents of each box. She would then hand each child his/her list and set a January 6th deadline for thank-you notes.
Only, the apple that didn’t fall far from the tree reproduced and now has a little angiosperm of her own, which is sprouting a bit farther from the mother plant.
In other words, when I was eight years old, I simply did what I was told. Conversely, my 8-year-old refuses to pen a thank-you note for presents she deems undesirable.
“Do I have to write a thank-you for these underwear?” she asked while holding up a package of panties stamped with the days of the week.
Cue the discussion about the importance of expressing gratitude, even if the gift was a package of uncool undergarments or scratchy socks.
Unfortunately, my message wasn’t received as well as I had hoped. Hence, the thank-you threat.
Translation: Find a way to politely thank the person for thinking of you or you will be taking an indefinite break from playing with your other Christmas gifts.
The bottom line is that kids (and adults) can always find a way to say thank you, be it for the thought behind the gift or the item itself. The challenge for children is learning how to receive a gift in the same spirit in which it was given.
By the way, despite Miss Manners’ insistence that sending a thank-you note via email is perfectly acceptable (she claims that an online expression of gratitude is better than not acknowledging a gift at all), I require my daughter to handwrite her notes of appreciation.
I believe a traditional handwritten note shows the gift giver that he or she is worth the time, energy and thought it takes to sit down and pen a thank-you. What’s more, the medium also allows even very young children to draw a thank-you picture or scribble thanks with a crayon.
What rules do you have in your family regarding thank-you notes?