When you’re married – there really is no topic that is sacred. You can talk about everything from bowel movements to politics with equal aplomb. We can talk about the problems we’re having, we can talk about the fun we want to have. We can talk about our favorite books and our favorite lines from movies. One of the best parts about marriage is the banter we can share with our spouses.
Banter
Banter is a form of conversation that we don’t talk about often enough. It’s the conversation that occurs in passing whether your spouse is on the way out the door, in the door, at work and you’re talking in IM’s or on the phone when they are in the car driving home. It’s the playful way we bat ideas back and forth towards each other.
Even the sound of the word: banter sounds playful and like you are playing ping-pong with your words. For all the emphasis we put on keeping the channels of communication open and really talking about the problems we face and to maintain that open level of honesty – we need banter even more than we need those open channels because banter with our spouses can help us laugh when we’re exhausted and gives us a way to talk that doesn’t require us to be deep and serious all the time.
Seriously
When you banter with your spouse, you are likely flirting and being playful. You are teasing them, lovingly and picking on them in an affectionate manner. It’s a great way to relax from the tough day to day activities that we engage in and even when we’re ill or troubled, it helps us to feel connected. That connection is what helps us survive and enjoy life in ways that meaningful conversation can support, but doesn’t really enhance.
So tell me, have you bantered with your spouse today?
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