In the most recent series of articles I have been discussing how opposites start out their relationship attracting to one another but often end up in marriage turmoil due to their differences.
I had begun by discussing the personality differences that some mates have with decision making. Some persons tend to make feelings from their heart while others use logical reasoning.
In my last article I gave some things that likely attracted the two to each other in the first place. It would seem that with all that they admire about one another, the relationship would be great right? However, there are also things that drive one another crazy.
The “feeler” is often upset with the way that the “thinker” does not bond with others. They are hurt by the lack of compassion that the “thinker” shows. They are shocked by the cynical attitude that the “thinker” can have toward loved ones.
The “thinker” gets stressed with the “feeler” trying to protect and take care of others. They feel that the “feeler” does not think logically or reason. The “thinker” often feels that the “feeler” does not care about the truth of matters.
While the two take on different approaches, both methods of decision making are reasonable and effective. Therefore the relationship can be very productive if the two mates simply learn to deal with the personality difference.
Below you will find some tips for how a “thinker” can better relate to a “feeler”.
Acknowledge feelings. Use statements such as “I can see you are (upset, angry).
When in a decision argument, find something that the two of you have in common. Look for something that the two of you do agree on and build from that.
State what you what instead of what you do not like. Instead of telling your mate what it is that he/she is doing or feeling wrongly about the decision, try using “I” statements to express what it is that you wish he/she could see differently.
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