When it comes to weight loss and eating a healthy diet, there are plenty of myths out there that confuse dieters out there and the following tips are one hundred percent untrue. So let’s talk about the tips we wish were true and enjoy a little Monday morning humor to get your week kicked off right.
Donuts are Healthier than Solid Pastries – Do you know how many calories you can save by eating something with a hole in the middle?
French Fries Reduce Heart Disease – There is statistical evidence that the French suffer fewer heart attacks than American and have a much lower incidence of heart disease. French Fries – reduction of heart disease – they follow right?
Pizza is a Health Food. – First and foremost, it’s round and that means that it has less calories than foods that are square. The bleached flour in the crust will suck up the grease and keep it out of sight. This is a great rule of thumb, if you can’t see it, it can’t hurt your diet.
Foods with Air Bubbles have Fewer Calories – It’s a well known fact that air has no calories – look at cheese puffs, soda, sponge cake and Twinkies after you’ve eaten out the filling – these air pockets are tasty and put less calories on your hips.
Ketchup Increases Health Value – When you add ketchup onto a food product – it’s like adding concentrated vegetables to your meal. Like V-8 for your burger.
Finally, if you need a few more tips to get you through the day – these tongue in cheek recommendations will burn a few calories in the giggles they should elicit.
- Anything eaten while standing has zero calories.
- Anything eaten off somebody else’s plate has zero calories.
- Food sampled for “tasting” purposes during preparation has no calories.
- Food sneaked from someone after you distract them is also calorie-free.
- Anything eaten after the expiration date contains no calories.
By the way, for anyone who might still think this is serious, the above should not be mistaken for medical advice or information. It is important to review the rules of humor and to take it easy until you no longer think this is serious and remember that it’s funny.