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The Tokens and Customs of Love

There is something beautiful about the old style rituals and formalities of paying court and delving into the love and romance of other times. For example, during the Victorian years, a primary requirement for marriage was romantic love and because this was so important – the act of courtship developed into an art form and it was very important for every part of the rituals to be observed.

For example, if a man wished the company of a lady, he would present her with his card. As the evening progressed, she would study the cards of the men who presented them and would favor him with her own card if he was her chosen escort to return her home. The courtship would then continue through conversations, afternoon teas and more – all done under the watchful eye of her family. The sign of a couple that was truly becoming successful was when they stepped out to sit together and converse on the front porch.

Other Tokens of Love

In the Norse countries a father would give his daughter an empty sheath when he wanted it known that she was of marriageable age. When a suitor was ready to make his offer and become betrothed to the girl, he would place his knife in the sheath.

Bundling was a custom in Europe and the United States in the 16th and 17th centuries. The prospective couple was bundled into a bed fully clothes, with a board between them and a cover tied over the girl’s legs. The idea was that they could spend the night together or several nights together – talking quietly and privately. This allowed them to get to know each other better before electing to get married.

In some parts of England, a gentleman who wanted to make a bid for his lady’s affections would send a pair of gloves to her. If she wore the gloves to Church, then he would know that his bid for affection is welcomed and he may continue his pursuit. If she didn’t wear the gloves, he would accept her refusal without putting either on the spot or under pressure.

These are some beautiful traditions and in some ways, it’s a pity that they have passed to a bygone age. What customs do you remember fondly?

Related Articles:

Something Old . . .

Courtly Love

Courtly Love Part III

This entry was posted in Love & Attraction and tagged , , , , by Heather Long. Bookmark the permalink.

About Heather Long

Heather Long is 35 years old and currently lives in Wylie, Texas. She has been a freelance writer for six years. Her husband and she met while working together at America Online over ten years ago. They have a beautiful daughter who just turned five years old. She is learning to read and preparing for kindergarten in the fall. An author of more than 300 articles and 500+ web copy pieces, Heather has also written three books as a ghostwriter. Empty Canoe Publishing accepted a novel of her own. A former horse breeder, Heather used to get most of her exercise outside. In late 2004, early 2005 Heather started studying fitness full time in order to get herself back into shape. Heather worked with a personal trainer for six months and works out regularly. She enjoys shaking up her routine and checking out new exercises. Her current favorites are the treadmill (she walks up to 90 minutes daily) and doing yoga for stretching. She also performs strength training two to three times a week. Her goals include performing in a marathon such as the Walk for Breast Cancer Awareness or Team in Training for Lymphoma research. She enjoys sharing her knowledge and experience through the fitness and marriage blogs.