If you haven’t learned this already, you will…the way men and women handle their emotions is very different. But knowing this and learning how to accept it are two different things.
Of course, it doesn’t always have to do with the fact that men and women are different. Personalities and characteristics come into play as well.
For instance, my husband is very laidback. It takes a lot to rattle his cage. In fact, this week we dealt with a behavior issue with one of our children that almost set me off into a fit.
But as my husband witnessed the action of our child, he managed to sneak in a sip of coffee before responding. For the sake of my child, I won’t tell you what happened but let’s just say that you would probably be surprised that my husband didn’t blow up. I was absolutely flabbergasted (and told him) that he could take a sip of his coffee after what had just happened.
So you see, I am still learning, despite 20 years of marriage to this man. I sometimes have to take a step back and remember that we are very different in how we handle our emotions.
So it shouldn’t have surprised me when earlier last week our 17-year-old son told us that he wanted to join the Air Force and we had different reactions. My immediate emotion was to get stressed out. In fact, I dealt with a migraine for almost three days, upon hearing about my son’s wish.
But my husband went about the day as if nothing had happened. Okay, that really isn’t fair. It was just how I took it. The reality is that he wasn’t feeling the stress that I was.
One of the toughest times in our marriage was when I had a miscarriage, about a year after we had our oldest son. The way we dealt with our emotions was entirely different and back then, I assumed my husband just didn’t care. Well that wasn’t true. He had his own way of processing the loss.
It makes life easier when we get this down deep that we handle our emotions differently and it doesn’t mean one is right and one is wrong. Remember this the next time you are dealing with a difficult or trying situation.
Related Articles:
Responding Instead of Reacting
What You Shouldn’t Say to Your Husband
Photo by I Craig on Flickr