Divorced and ready to date? First of all, have you given it enough time? Before you venture back out into the dating world you must make sure that you are ready emotionally. You cannot just break up one month with your former partner and go right on back out there. That is rebound love and it spells nothing but trouble. You have to give yourself enough time to think things through and maybe even go through some counseling if necessary. You have to figure out what went wrong the first time and how you can avoid the same mistakes again. This applies no matter where the fault lies in your previous relationship.
It is understandable that you are lonely, but history is only apt to repeat itself unless the core of the problem is resolved. You might just be setting yourself up for the same thing all over again. Nobody wants to go through the same pain and misery that a breakup entails. Give yourself time alone for deep thought. Reorganize your life and learn to live on your own again. Enjoy your children and focus on them.
When you are ready to date, expect several things. You will most likely meet someone with children. You are older now and so are they. Are you ready for that? When you date someone with children you are accepting the whole package, including the ex in their life. Your partner’s ex, as long as they had children together, will be a part of it. As ugly as it may be, if you find someone special, it is worth it (gulp). I know, it is a hard pill to swallow, but fact. There will be deep conversations, face-to-face meetings, school events, planning, possibly even parties. Can you deal with this? If not back away before you get too deeply involved. Remember though you may be giving up a rare person with qualities that you find you really like. Chances of finding a person at this stage of the game without any of these complications are quite slim. Do not be too fussy lest you will be alone. However, make sure that the involvement does not go above and beyond the concerns of the children and only the concerns of the children.
Do you think that you have it all together now? If you have all of these things above in place and are ready to deal with it. Go out there, but be careful. There are many frogs. I hope that your prince or princess is among them. May your journey lead you there.
Angel Lynn writes in weight loss, single parenting, and health.