The other day I received an email from a very displeased reader in regards to an article I wrote last September called The Widows of 9/11: Already Remarrying?
Her name was Ms. Fisher and her subject line immediately caught my attention. It read “Who do you think you are?”
Here’s what Ms. Fisher had to say:
I am furious after reading your post about a 9/11 widow remarrying.
First of all, since you aren’t a widow you have NO BUSINESS even writing on this subject.
Second, you should do a tiny bit of research before you write my dear. Remember: write what you KNOW. You obviously didn’t know from first hand or research what the hell you were talking about.
The first 9/11 widow remarried within 7 months. I myself remarried 1.5 years after my husband died – I still grieved long after that, but I am not going to detail any further data for you.
Just know that you are way out of line. Write what you know lady.
The article’s title was perhaps provocative because it was misleading. It would seem I was judging widows for remarrying so soon if the article wasn’t read all the way through.
I was actually admitting to my ignorance for being quick to judge a 9/11 widow who had remarried that I had read about in a magazine. My first thought had been, “Wow, already remarried?” BUT I wrote that article because I learned the exact opposite.
It was something Heather Long, our managing editor, said that made me look at my initial reaction with fresh eyes. That’s what the article had been about. My realization of just how strong the Power of Love can be.
I’m deeply pained I offended this reader so much. I wrote her back and not only apologized but asked if she wouldn’t mind reconsidering sharing her story with me to share with other readers. For one, I think others would take comfort in her example, and for another, if I offended her so severely there’s a good chance others took offense too.
If you are one of them, please accept my apologies. And then re-read the trigger article to the end. I’m hoping you’ll see that I was applauding the widow and marveling at the power of Love, not judging, criticizing, or trying to promote myself as any kind of widow expert. That was for sure not the intent of the article.
And Ms. Fisher, if you happen to read this article, again please accept my most humble apologies for stirring anger within your heart on this matter. It was not my intent I assure you, but I do thank you for bringing this to my attention so I could clear the matter up.
Related Articles
The Widow’s Might – Ann Bennion Brown
Dealing with Comments to the Widowed
It’s Never Enough: Cherishing Each Married Moment
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