Do you remember what attracted you to your spouse in the first place? Do you remember what made you decide to get together with them? Do you remember what inspired you to make that first connection? If you’re like most people, what brought you and your spouse together the very first time was a common interest.
That common interest may have been related to being in the same place at the same time (i.e. a party or a workplace) or knowing the same person (i.e. a relative or a mutual friend) or it may be related to a hobby (i.e. meeting in an art supply store). Ultimately, what drew you together were common or shared interests.
Whether you are opposites attracting or not – even people with opposite personalities can share common interests and enjoy the same things. It’s those very interests that not only drew you together, but also helped you forge the initial stages of your relationship that was eventually allowed to blossom.
Learning About Their Interests
There’s always more to a person than what you have in common with them. So even though it was common interests that brought you into each other’s lives – learning about what your spouse enjoys is important for both of you. It can be as simple as learning what kind of books they like to read. My husband and I both to love to read; there are some books that we both like – but in general, we enjoy different types of books.
We learned what appeals to the other, primarily so we can keep an eye out for something the other might enjoy and because it’s nice to be able to talk about those mutual and differing interests. The same can be said for activities, hobbies, sports and more.
Participate If You Can
Whether you shared the interest when you first met or not, participating in something your spouse enjoys may help you discover something new to enjoy for yourself. My husband loved skiing and I’d never been. I can honestly say, I’ll never be half the skier he is and I can’t stand going down blues (too dizzying in height for me), but I do enjoy skiing and prefer the long and lazy green slopes.
By the same token, I’ve introduced him to new experiences including musicals. I’ve always loved the theater and because he wanted to share that interest with me, he decided to at least just check it out to see why I liked it. The first musical we went to see was Cats and after that, we saw Les Miserables and he’s been hooked ever since. We try to see a musical at least once a year and sometimes twice if we’re lucky.
Developing New Interests Together
Another way to love what they love is learn something new together. You might try developing a hobby or exploring one together. Whether you are exploring an interest in cooking, photography or scuba diving – having a spouse means you automatically have a partner to join you in exploring interests together.
Does this mean you’re both going to share an interest in absolutely everything? Not necessarily. But knowing and appreciating what you both enjoy together and apart can help you continue to foster the close relationship you both enjoy and deserve.
What interests do you and your spouse share together?