I was talking with a friend recently who asked me how things were in the “relationship department.” Of course, she was referring to dating, significant others, and adult partnerships—but it dawned on me that even though I am an unattached single parent, I have all sorts of important and primary relationships that enrich my life.
We tend to use the word “relationship” to only refer to one type of relationship—the primary, romantic partner one. But, in fact, there are so many other types of relationships and so many other opportunities for attachment, growth, affection, etc. As the single parent of three—I have three major, primary, non-stop relationships in my life right there, and, boy, have we been through a lot together!
I have found that many single parents seem to be in perpetual quest for “the relationship” when if we just look around us, we will see that our lives are not at all void of relationships—family, good friends, trusted colleagues and coworkers, and, of course, our children. Perhaps if we felt less pressure and external expectation (or expectation that we put upon ourselves) to “achieve” the Relationship—with a capital “R”, we could relax and enjoy the experience of the deep and meaningful relationships that are already in our lives.
Instead of getting caught up in the desperation of trying to “find somebody” so that we can have that significant other, it might be a healthy move for us to take stock in all of the relationships that we currently have in our lives. Chances are, there are plenty of key people with whom we interact with every day. I don’t know about you, but I seldom really have time alone to myself to even think about getting lonely, so there must be plenty of significant relationships going down in my life!
Also: How a Positive Attitude Affects Your Relationship
If I’m Not Partnered, Why Don’t I Feel Single?