There is Always a Reason Parents Families.com

There is Always a Reason

Life with children can sometimes seem random and chaotic. Our children’s behavior can seem to come completely “out of the blue” and we may be so absorbed in other trials and daily duties that we can’t or don’t take the time to get down to the “why” of things. It might be helpful to remember that even with small children, there’s always a reason why they do and say the things they do…

I could never get on board with the “let them cry it out” school of thought, or even the “ignore them, it’s just a phase” school of thought. While sometimes the best thing to do IS to let kids work through things on their own, I still feel that I should try to figure out what’s going on so I am aware and involved. After all, they wouldn’t be acting out or bringing things up if there wasn’t something going on.

For those of us who have more than one child, we may have to remind ourselves that one child’s reason will not necessarily be the same as another child’s reason—even if the behavior seems similar. The behavior might be learned and applied for new and creative reasons by a second or third child. So, while we are setting boundaries and consequences around the behavior, we are still challenged to get down to the reasons and motivations behind it. The same goes for advice from other parents—while it is great to be able to brainstorm and learn from other parents, what motivated their child may not necessarily be the same reason that your child is doing what she is doing.

For me, it really helps to keep in mind that no matter how kooky or challenging one of my children’s behaviors is, there is always a reason. Something is going on that is working its way out. As a parent, my job is to try to figure out what it is!