There is something about the experience of raising a child that can make us feel as though one day we are blundering beginners and the next day we are experts. I imagine that once one has raised a child from infancy to adulthood, one feels a sense of accomplishment, yes, and if the child turns out decently, we may also be convinced that we know “the way” and have “the answers.” I think this is one of the reasons that older people can be so steadfast in their childrearing suggestions and advice. I do think it helps us to remember, however, that just because a certain style worked well with one child does not mean it will work well with another. There are so many elements to take into consideration, from the personality of the parent, to the family situation, to the child—there is just more than one way to raise a child.
I suppose that I should clarify that not only is there more than one way to raise a child, there is more than one “right” way to raise a child. I know that so many of us get caught up trying to figure out the very best thing or the very one thing we should do in regards to discipline, encouragement, training, education, etc. We get fooled into assuming that there is one right answer and dozens of either wrong ones or less-than-perfect answers. The truth is, there needs to be room for different opinions and philosophies and most children turn out great regardless of whether the parent uses 30-second time-outs or 1 minute ones, or whether there is only organic cereal for breakfast or the periodic eggs, bacon and pancakes.
Whether we are faced with input from an in-law, grandparent or friend, or we are tempted to offer our own advice and judgment in the parenting realm, it might do us well to remember that there is more than one reasonable way to raise a child.
See Also: Grandparents who are Just Too Much