Hard lessons, tough days, big changes–there are times when it can seem like finding a point to all the struggles and seemingly random hardships is impossible. But from one single parent to another, I really do believe that there is value of some sort in every challenge and lesson…
It may not be obvious at the onset, and the value may just be to teach you how to say “no” or walk away–but there is still something useful to be found in all sorts of events and realities. I do not think that everything that happens to us or around us is supposed to inspire us to make massive changes; sometimes we get big painful lessons that help us to understand that we are doing just fine the way we are–but I do think that trusting that everything has value can help us keep from feeling as though we are spinning our wheels or failing.
I also think that as single parents, believing in the inherent value of everything (and everyone) makes us a really positive role model for our children. A single parent who thinks that her past was “a waste of time” could be inadvertently hurting her child who may feel as though he or she is a product of that very past. Instead, we can let our children know that we value everything and everyone who has brought us to this day, this moment, because if we hadn’t had all those experiences–we wouldn’t be the parent with the wonderful child or children that we are today!
So the next time you start to wonder why in the world something is happening or feel like you’ve wasted an entire day (or week or year), try to remind yourself that there really is value in everything–even if it isn’t readily apparent.
Also: Holding Grudges or Letting Go–Teaching Our Kids About Forgiveness
Coping with Temporary Setbacks