Now that my children are nearly grown, they can sometimes do darn good impersonations of adults—they can be practical, level-headed, and display a great sense of humor. But, they are not adults yet, and I do not think the tendency to expect children to act like miniature adults is isolated on teenagers—it can be tempting for us parents to have the unreasonable expectations of our children at all sorts of ages and stages. Without even realizing it, we may be expecting them to act older than their years.
Sure, sometimes they surprise us, sometimes they delight us with visions of the mature, amazing adults they are evolving into—but we need to keep things in perspective. They are not there yet! Their brains are not fully developed, nor are their emotional capacity or their ability to reason. If we can remember that growing up is a developmental process with lots of starts and stops and bumps and bruises, we might not be inclined to either expect our kids to be wiser and more mature than they are capable of—or take it personality when they behave so completely like a child their age should (This can be a hard one for me! I just know they must be more savvy and aware of what they are doing than they often are.)
They are going to act like kids—probably long after we think their chronological age should dictate—that is why they really still need parents! I am not saying that we cannot appreciate those glimpses we get of maturity or level-headedness or emotional insight, we definitely should celebrate and bless those rare moments—but we shouldn’t come to expect that they are already grown up. They just are not miniature adults and until they ARE adults, they’re kids!
Also: Seeing Life Through the Eyes of a Child