One of the realities of the single parent home–especially those of us who have more than one child–is that we have to divide our attention and our focus up amongst all sorts of competing things–starting with our kids! Even though my kids are older teenagers and nearly grown–they still compete for my attention…
Single parents have to split up their time, focus, and attention and it isn’t always easy–between work, home, personal stuff, and our child, it is nonstop. For me, with three kids and a home business, I still have not gotten used to all the interruptions and all the competition for my attention. My kids still try to distract me from working or doing chores–it isn’t quite the same as the squabbles they used to pick with each other to get my attention when they were younger, but they still want me to be available when they want attention. They won’t always ADMIT it, but they want me to focus on them.
I don’t know if as parents, we ever figure out exactly how to split ourselves up so that there is enough to go around. I think that is the shared reality of us single parents–no matter how much attention we do give our child, it never feels like enough. In those families with multiple children, the children might come up with all sorts of ways to get our attention (even if we think we’re giving them plenty)–ranging from the relatively harmless to the self-destructive. Now that my children are older they can be more direct when they want or need attention–or perhaps I know them better, and have gotten used to their behaviors and the way they behave when they need attention. Either way, they still compete for my attention and like other single parents, I’m still working to divide up my time and focus as fairly as possible (and be available when and where I‘m needed)!
Also: How Will Our Children Remember Us?
Building Loyalty in a Single Parent Family
You May Have to Compromise for the Sake of Your Child