If you are dating or have ever dated a single parent it can be a little tricky in the area of courtesy and respect. There are, of course, certain things that should remain unsaid even though your brain is thinking it. If you care about this person, zip your lip, lest you lose your Love. There may come a time that you can bring the topic up, but it has to be done ever so gently and ever so carefully, cautiously and whatever else makes us “walk on eggs”.
Here are just a few things not to say or do to a single mom or dad that you care for:
Do not make your partner choose between you and their kids. This is really bad. You will, I am sure, lose. You will not only lose, but also lose a great deal of respect, possibly even the relationship, but you will be hurt while doing it. We all know the kids will come first so do not be foolish. We know it, but we do not need to hear it.
Be careful with how you approach negative topics about your partner’s child. If your advice is asked for, speak, but speak with thought. Be gentle. Remember, your kids are not perfect either. Nobody is. If your opinion is not asked for, listen and think of something encouraging to say. Always remember what your mama taught you too…..”If you do not have anything nice to say, then say nothing at all”. (I can still hear my mama.)
Do not rush them. Give them time. Time to think, time to adjust, time to be comfortable, time to trust. The past was scary for them. It holds some very good memories, I am sure, but it also holds some very hurtful memories. Forcing them to make decisions that they are not ready to make will just put pressure on them and make them uneasy.
Do not play games. Nobody needs them, especially not someone who is in a second relationship. Time is getting shorter. There is no room for games and wasted time. Make the most of your time on this earth by being totally up front and honest. Your partner will appreciate it.
Being with a person who is a single parent is a little complicated, but that is how second relationships usually are. There is baggage. We can choose to be alone without those complications and possibly miss out on being with a really great person who brings additional joy to our lives. On the other hand, we can accept the baggage, deal with it, and enjoy the love and companionship in our lives once again. You have to choose if it is worth it. If you find a special person it just very well may be worth the hassle and baggage that a second time around brings.
Angel Lynn writes in weight loss, single parenting, and health.