Recently we’ve looked at keeping the lines of communication open in marriage.
Some men are okay at talking about feelings. Others are not. The very hint of a talk about feelings send them running a mile or shutting down. But you can still find out how you husband is feeling and what concerns him by just talking generally. For example if you are talking about the state of the world and current events, it will soon become obvious how he is feeling about it without him having to say he is worried or optimistic and whatever.
Talk about other people and relationships. All relationship experience difficulties at times. I know if I talk to Mick about other relationships whether casual acquaintances, friends or family that what I tell him will stay right there. He’s not going to be blabbing to anyone else. He knows the same with me. That gives us confidence to be able to be honest with each other. It means we may say things about our attitudes, experiences, relationships and feelings that we would never tell anyone else. They are for us alone. But it does help at times to let out the frustrations that exist in other relationships. So, for example if I was having problems in a work situation or friendship I could use him as a sounding board to work through how to deal with it. He knows if he tells me anything in confidence too, that is where it stays – between us.
Talk about things you’d like to do if you had time or money or courage enough to do them. The Sydney harbor bridge climb is something Mick thinks he would like to do. Sometimes there are just vague possibilities. Others times three is a real desire to do certain thing. In those cases it would be good to if you could help your spouse find a way to fulfill that desire.
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