When someone laments about the “terrible twos” or those trying toddler years, they are usually referring to temper tantrums. Somewhere around a year old or 18 months, otherwise sweet and bubbly children can start to throw temper tantrums. Is there anything at all that can be done to minimize those early temper tantrums or at least learn to cope?
Young children have tantrums for all sorts of reasons–they are frustrated at not being able to communicate and get what they want, they are tired, sick, trying to figuring out where they stand in the world and how they can make things happen, they need attention. Sometimes figuring out why a temper tantrum is happening with a very young child can be challenging since their communication skills are so limited, other times, we can discover the cause with a little investigation.
I learned by experience that it was nearly impossible to stop a temper tantrum once it got into full swing. The best defense was a good offense with meant trying to avoid the tantrum–avoiding too much stimulation if the child was tired and knowing the triggers were good ways to avoid situations that could result in a tantrum. When that didn’t work, I also learned that bribery or any sort of “reward” for a tantrum (as in, giving in and letting the child have what he or she wanted just to stop the tantrum) was not the way to handle a tantrum either. It just set a precedent and gave the child cause to think that tantrums were the way to get what he or she wanted. While you will want to keep the toddler safe, the best reaction to a temper tantrum is no reaction. Detaching and not feeding the fit can help a child learn that even though it might seem like the best way to express frustrations, a temper tantrum will not get him the attention or results he desires.
Also: Tips for Dealing with Temper Tantrums