A friend recently reminded me to not take things my teen says personally. It was good advice but hard to receive.
You can never really be prepared for those sometimes rocky moments that happen between a parent and a teenager. They can come out of nowhere, leaving you to wonder what just happened.
In the midst of the chaos however, as a parent there are some things we need to remember. In addition to the advice of not taking things personally, we should also remember these things…
Teens sometimes say things they don’t really mean
Teens sometimes speak out of emotion rather than reality
Hormones can run amuck, getting in the way
Teenagers’ brains are still developing, so there are some things they aren’t capable of understanding (like your side of things)
Teens can’t think or rationalize like an adult does
What seems small to you as a parent can mean the world to a teen
Just as they can’t see things from our perspective, it is hard for us to see their side. Yet I am learning that I have to try and put myself in my teen’s place, whether or not I agree with them.
I have to try and see their side of things. And I will admit this isn’t always easy.
Sometimes it stinks. It feels unfair. Why should things be so difficult? But this is life and it is sometimes the reality of living with a teenager.
Don’t dwell on the hateful things that can sometimes come out of your teen’s mouth. More than likely, they don’t mean what they say. They just need to spout.
It is as if they are a churning volcano, with the slightest event causing them to explode this ugly mess. If we react in the same way, it will only make the situation worse.
What tips do you have for handling those rocky moments with your teen?
Related Articles:
Don’t Take Teen Attitudes Personally
Don’t Assume You Know the Real Reason Behind an Attitude
Trying to Understand Teenagers
Extending Grace to Our Children
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