Since July Wayne and I have had a long distance marriage. This past Friday night as I watched Friday Night Lights, I found myself sympathizing to the Kleenex degree with one of the show’s characters: Tami Taylor, played by Connie Britton.
Tami’s Story of Separation
On the show, Tami’s husband, Coach Taylor, got offered a coaching job at another school, this time a college but not one in their current hometown. It’s an offer he doesn’t want to pass up.
However, instead of following him yet again like she has all through their marriage and his career, she decides to stay put. There are many reasons for this:
1) Her job: She’s a counselor at the high school where her husband used to coach. She’s good at her job and committed to it. She doesn’t want to give it up.
2) Their town: She’s found her home there and doesn’t want to leave it.
3) Their daughter: Julie is their only child. She’s in high school and was no happier at the prospect of having to once again switch schools as she’s done all her life. Especially not since she’s entering her last years of high school, has a boyfriend, and wants to graduate with her class.
So Tami decided, much to her husband’s chagrin, to support his decision to take the job –but this time that meant not uprooting the rest of the family’s life.
However, as Life has a way of doing, it threw the Taylors a curveball: Tami found out she was pregnant after she decided to stay behind.
Still, she’s one tough cookie and opted to stay put –even though that meant raising the baby virtually on her own without her husband’s physical help.
My Story of Separation
We had moved from Jacksonville, Florida (where we loved living and had many friends) to Nashville in 2005 because a job opportunity that would further Wayne’s career came up. We decided he couldn’t say no, so we moved.
But the fantastic job opportunity came with a lot of stress, long hours, and a great deal of travel time. After two years of putting in 80 hour weeks (minimum) he decided he had enough experience (and stress) and was ready to move on.
A job came along that seemed ideal back in Jacksonville, where we decided we wanted to settle once and for all, so we prepped the house and got it on the market. Wayne turned in his notice, then away he went, leaving me behind to sell the house.
Not an Ideal Form of Marriage
In both Tami’s case and my own, we know eventually we’ll be reunited with our husbands.
Which is nice, seeing a light (as distant as it may appear sometimes) at the end of the struggle. Because even with weekend visits, long-distancing it puts one heck of a strain and dumps loads of stress on a marriage. As Karri sagely noted today, marriage takes effort, but it takes even more than that when you’re separated in this fashion.
Questions to Readers
Have you ever been in either Tami’s situation or mine? Why? How did you cope?
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