We all fall into ruts. The newness and novelty of marriage have to wear off eventually. That doesn’t mean marriage has to be so-so. Sometimes, it just takes a little more effort. If you’re feeling a little distant from your spouse, you may just need to reconnect. The daily grind can drive wedges between even the most loving spouses, so we have to work to keep that from happening.
Here are three tips to help you and your spouse reconnect and feel closer:
Thoughtfulness and Gestures
The fact that you took the time to think of your husband or wife will not be lost on him or her. Actively listen and pay attention so you can pick up on subtle clues. If your spouse has been mentioning a particular desire frequently, do something about it. If he has been missing his friends, give him the opportunity to spend time with them, without him worrying that you will be resentful or upset. If your wife needs new clothes, offer to take the kids for a couple of hours so she can go try some on without interruption. Get creative and find small ways to show how much you care.
Give until it Hurts
Well, that is a bit of exaggeration. It doesn’t have to hurt and it shouldn’t. It should feel good when you give of yourself to make your husband or wife feel special, loved, and important. Go out of your way to do nice things for your spouse. Give a neck rub without complaining. Wash his car. Give her a night off from doing dishes. Small kindnesses really do go a long way. It will sometimes involve a little sacrifice, since you would obviously rather do something else besides washing dishes or washing the car, but it will show your mate that he or she is appreciated.
Let’s Talk about Love
This doesn’t mean analyzing everything. This means remembering fond moments from early in your relationship and mentioning the reasons you love your husband or wife. Everyone likes to hear the good things about themselves and to learn why someone finds them special and loveable. Saying “I love you” is important, but it can become habit. Occasionally, it’s necessary to tell your mate exactly why you love him or her.