To say I am a firm believer in time outs for toddlers is an understatement. I have tried everything to get my son to behave and listen to what I tell him. He is a very strong-willed, hard-headed, stubborn child. He is full of energy and determination. Consequently, he is always getting into trouble.
My son’s most recent reaction to getting into trouble is to smile and come over and hug me. I recently told him, “I don’t want a hug. I want you to listen and to do what you are told.” At that point, he leaned in and kissed me on the cheek, and then looked at me as if to say, “What about now?”
I’ve always used the “one minute of time out per year of age” rule. It seems to work well. My son will just look at me and laugh if I pop his hand or spank him on the diaper for something he did wrong. If I make him stand in time out, however, he cries like it is the end of the world.
Two minutes of a time out seemed like such an eternity to him that it actually did some good. I prefer time outs to spanking but he was hitting the cat and doing things that could put him in danger when I did spank him. I wanted to make the point that he could not do it again.
I have decided that the time out in the corner does work best. He cries the entire time, but he does listen better. Yesterday, I found myself putting my son in a time out in the corner of a hallway in the back of an Old Navy store. I had told him to hold my hand while we were looking for some clothes for him to wear to see Santa. He let go and ran and hid under a clothes rack. He started pulling clothes off of the rack. I grabbed him by both hands and pulled him to his feet and walked with him to the nearest corner. I told him he would stand in the corner for a time out. An employee seemed amused at my new use for the corner of the hallway.
I had purchased one of those mats with “Time Out” written on it but, of course, it is in a bag on a shelf. It didn’t work. I do better with corners. They are always nearby.
My son turned three years old a few days ago, so now we’ve gone from two-minute time outs to three-minute time outs. He isn’t fond of the extra minute in time out, though as the days go by he seems to be reacting better to it. He wants to avoid a time out and when told he will get a time out if he doesn’t stop doing something, he behaves.
How does your toddler react to being put in time out?
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