Do you feel that your child is exceptionally quiet? This can be somewhat confusing for parents who are naturally extroverted. How do you raise a child who is very different from yourself? Here are some tips to help extroverted parents raise introverted kids.
What is an introvert? People who are introverted prefer to be by themselves (or, sometimes, with one or two very close friends.) Being in a crowd of people, or forced to attend a party, can be overwhelming to introverted people. To “recharge”, an introvert will need to spend some time alone.
Extroverted parents might feel the need to try and change their child from introverted to extroverted. This is not a good idea. First, there isn’t anything wrong with being an introvert. There’s nothing to “fix”. Second, putting pressure on an introvert to behave as though she was an extrovert is stressful and unpleasant for the introvert.
Tips for parenting introverted kids:
Being alone does not equal being sad.
Understand that your child is not miserable because he or she only has a couple of friends. She isn’t spending time by herself because she is sad. Extroverted parents might remember feeling unhappy when placed in the same situation as a child.
Realize that your child’s social needs are different from what your’s were – and that this is ok. Don’t take it personally if your child moves away from you and spends some time alone. She’s not doing this because she doesn’t love you. She simply needs a break.
Give your child breaks from social situations.
Little kids might not know how to express that they have become overwhelmed. Parents need to watch for signs of fatigue in their introverted child. When that happens, step in and remove your child from the social situation for a few minutes. Give her a break to recharge.
Teach older kids where to find an escape from social situations when they become overwhelmed or tired. Step outside for a few minutes. Move to a quieter part of the room, or to a less full room. If all else fails, an introvert can always find a bathroom to take a break in. Few people will bother a person who is in the bathroom!
Talk to your child’s teacher.
Schedule some time to privately speak with your child’s teacher. Explain that your child is introverted, and what that means.
Ask the teacher to help him in situations that require kids to partner up or join a group for a project. For example, the teacher could assign kids into groups instead of letting the students self-select. See if the teacher can find a way to asses your child’s understanding of the lessons without calling on him in class.
Image by Quinn Dombrowski on Flickr.
Related Articles at Families.com:
* Introverts and the Classroom
* The Myers-Briggs Personality Types