Parenting is a very important skill that, for the most part, people are expected to just “pick up” after they have children. The way that your own parents handled things might not be very useful with your child if he or she has ADHD. There are certain techniques that parents of kids who have ADHD can use in order to deal with situations that can arise with kids who have ADHD.
Kids who have ADHD tend to have difficulty with impulse control. Intellectually, they know what they are supposed to do in a given situation, but often, their action is taking place before they are consciously aware of it. Other symptoms of ADHD include a difficulty with focusing on the task at hand, and a tendency to express emotions in immediate, loud, ways. It isn’t unusual for kids who have ADHD to have “fight or flight” reactions when they experience stress.
Parenting a child who has ADHD can a very stressful experience for parents. It can be difficult to figure out when to be patient and when to be very firm about adherence to a particular rule. In the back of their minds, these parents are wondering if their child will have a “meltdown” due to the decision of the parent. If you are in a public place, this can be an especially stressful decision making process.
There are some strategies that parents of kids who have ADHD can use in order to overcome certain challenges. Try some of these next time, and see if they will help you.
It can help if parents remain calm, (even though that might be hard to do). If a child with ADHD is arguing with a parent, this is a fight that the parent cannot win. If you get angry, your child will get even angrier than he or she was before. This can quickly escalate a situation.
Instead, remain calm, and attempt to diffuse the situation. Acknowledge your child’s emotions, but stick to the plan. If the battle is about homework, well, that homework is going to have to be done. Redirect, but calmly.
Create a specific, reasonable consequence for when your child breaks a rule. If you child is old enough, choose a moment when the child is calm, and ask the child for help in deciding what the consequence should be if a specific rule is broken. This is a way to give your child the feeling of having some control over a situation.
For example, let’s say the rule is “No video games until homework is done”. Your child could come up with what he or she truly feels is a reasonable consequence for breaking that rule. As a parent, you will have to see if you agree with that assessment before going along with it. If you create the consequence together, it will seem more “fair” to your child if he or she breaks the rule later on. This doesn’t mean that your child won’t complain about it, but it could lead to somewhat less complaining than usual.
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