I remember when I went through my divorce. For some reason, one of the hardest things for me was reaching out and asking for help. I felt that I needed to be independent, handling everything myself. However, I soon discovered that I couldn’t do it all no matter how hard I tried. I also learned that by reaching out for help, my children were being provided with a valuable life lesson.
The first thing that you need to understand is that you are not now nor will you ever be perfect, which is actually okay. By that, I mean stop putting so much pressure on you to perform to a level that is impossible. It’s great that you want to do everything right and that you want to try to do all you can on your own but you need to remember, you will now be raising kids without the support of a spouse. Therefore, reaching out to someone is a good thing.
You also want to be honest with yourself that you need help and that asking for it is fine. Keep in mind that no person, regardless of how hard he or she works, cannot do it all so by reminding yourself to be honest, you can see that you do in fact need some support. In addition, even strong people need support. Your reaching out for help has absolutely, nothing to do with personal or mental strength. In fact, it takes far more strength and courage to ask for help than not.
Stay optimistic, knowing that the friends and family members around you truly love you, wanting to do everything possible to make change easier to handle. Going through a divorce or losing a spouse due to death is traumatic. Allow your friends and family members to heal along with you by helping. Unfortunately, pushing their encouragement and support aside is hurting you, your kids, and them. Therefore, you need to accept the help graciously.
Finally, if asking for help is hard for you, as it was for me, start with baby steps. For instance, you might begin by taking a 30-minute errands and having a family member or neighbor care for your little one. Learn to humble yourself and enrich your life. Ultimately, you will find that you develop a stronger bond with the people who love and care for you, while growing personally. You will end up being a better person and also a better parent.