One of the goals of parenting is to raise a child who becomes a self-sufficient adult. What that looks like may vary depending on individual parent’s personal views.
Nobody dreams of having their teen become a 20-something who lives at home and watches episodes of TV shows all day and into the night. Here is some advice to for parents who want to avoid raising a 20-something couch potato.
An article written by Cheryl Stritzel Mccarthy mentions advice from Adam Price. He is a psychologist whose practice is tailored to young adults. The key point seems to be that when parents rescue their teens or young adult offspring from consequences the result is that the young person becomes de-motivated.
To me, this sounds like a problem that can happen as a result of helicopter parenting. That parenting style involves parents rushing in at the first sign of trouble and rescuing their child (or teen, or 20-something) from having to deal with a difficult or unpleasant situation. At some point, however, the young person is going to need to practice working through less than ideal situations in order to get along in the real world.
Adam Price talks about lack of consequences in a different way. A parent tells their teen that they must get at least a B on the next math test, or they will lose internet privileges for a specific amount of time. The teen fails to earn a B (or higher). The parent then chooses not to enforce the consequence.
Maybe the parent decides that the teen needs access to the internet in order to do his or her homework (and then fails to monitor their teen to ensure that’s what they are doing while online). Or, the parent might decide that it’s too much of a hassle to turn off the router or change the Wi-Fi password. Either way, the teen learns that he or she won’t really lose anything by getting a C, so why bother to study for the next math test?
In short, one way to prevent raising a 20-something couch potato is to enforce consequences. Ideally, a parent starts doing this long before their baby turns into a teenager. Raise your child to understand that their actions, or lack thereof, have consequences.
I think another important way to prevent raising a 20-something couch potato is to actively teach your teen the skills that adults need if they are going to live by themselves (or with roommates). Teach them how to do the laundry, to cook basic meals from simple ingredients, and to balance a checking account. Teach them how to fill out a job application (but don’t do it for them). Coach them on how to walk into a store or restaurant and ask if they are hiring.
Image by Banalities on Flickr.
Related Articles at Families.com:
* Some Parents are Following their Teens to College
* Don’t Do Your Child’s Homework for Them
* Helicopter Parenting is not Helpful