Halloween—it’s a holiday celebrated by the young and the young at heart. It’s also a holiday celebrated by those who have a morbid curiosity for all things ghoulish… or by those who are simply morbid. Surf the web and you’ll find a ton of Halloween related sites that allow you to predict the date of your death (all in fun of course).
For example, on www.deathclock.com visitors are welcomed with the sadistic greeting: “I’m sorry, but your time has expired! Have a nice day.”
To find the predicted date of your expiration you simply enter your date of birth, smoking habits, height, and weight. The results: a pop-up ticker, which counts down the seconds you have left.
You can influence the “verdict” by inputting your mood. By doing so the site’s clock – “the Internet’s friendly reminder that life is slipping away” – offers links to promote healthier living, pet memorials, and other morbid merchandise.
Another interesting note: the anonymous author of the site adds that he or she is “pro-life” and “the Death Clock makes money and helps ensure I don’t run out of Pepsi One and video games.”
If you don’t like what you see on the death clock, you can get a second opinion at other sites, which ask more in-depth questions about your lifestyle before predicting the date of your demise. For example, at www.findyourfate.com you are asked how often you brush your teeth.
If you are more interested in when someone else may kick the bucket, consider heading to www.demko.com it offers a link to celebrity death forecasts. The calculations there are a bit more confusing. For example, it gives users two more years to live if they own “an inter-active pet,” as well as five years if they have cosmetic surgery once a decade (but then subtracts one year for each additional session in a decade).
And, believe it or not, there is even a site that allows you to stay in touch with loved ones after your passing. At www.afterlifetelegrams.com you can send a telegram to departed friends or relatives. Though the site does offer this caveat: “With the help of terminally ill volunteers, our service is sending telegrams to people who have passed away,” the site promises. “Since we can not guarantee delivery nor prove that a message has been delivered successfully, our customers do not pay for ‘deliveries’. They pay for ‘delivery attempts’.”
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