A recent conversation between friends got me thinking about Barbies. Actually, it’s the time of year when many parents are thinking about Barbies, struggling in lineups to purchase a coveted Barbie, hiding Barbie boxes in the closet….
The conversation goes something like this:
“My kid wants a Barbie.”
“Oh, no, you can’t get her a Barbie! Those are terrible for her future body image!”
First parent hurriedly makes an excuse and slinks away in quiet humiliation, unable to defend her choice of toy.
Ah, Barbie, the creator of controversy. The doll who is hated by many and adored by just as many. Barbie, to be sure, your body shape is less-than-realistic. To many, so is your skin tone. Your waist size makes a mother’s jaw drop, and your chest needs a lot more sag. After all, you were born in 1959. Perhaps there’s been a little plastic infusion lately? Ah yes, I thought as much.
I absolutely agree that the Barbie doll perpetuates a skewed ideal of the female body. I certainly agree that there is a wonderful diversity of body shapes, ages, and skin tones in the world, and that we need to love and celebrate all of them. In our house, we have dolls who are quite diverse, and we always seem to be adding more – there is a large inflow of dolls from summer garage sales.
But would this stop me from getting a Barbie for my child? No. While I’m a great believer in creating a natural home and an environment that supports my child’s body image and general well-being, I don’t like creating forbidden fruit. No, I don’t want my kid to eat candy all the time, but I do let her eat candy sometimes because I don’t want her to sit drooling outside the candy store, crying, or to binge on candy when she leaves home. Likewise with Barbie: I don’t want my daughter to think that Barbie is the personification of all things female, but I also don’t want her to sit drooling outside the toy store, idolizing Barbie because she can’t have a Barbie doll.
I have an old Barbie downstairs, sitting in a box. My daughter is welcome to it if she ever asks. I am not going to give one unprovoked. If we ever do rescue Barbie from the basement, we’ll have a talk about how her body is unrealistic. And then my daughter will play with her, or not. And time will pass, and she will become a mother (or not) and don a realistic female body shape and laugh at Barbie, just as I do.