Today continued their “Why I Got Married, Why I Stayed Single Series” this morning. This go around they examined why some people stay single.
They interviewed single women for the introduction, but then they had Dr. Judith Sills, the clinical psychologist they had on yesterday’s show, as well as Amy Cohen, author of The Late Bloomer’s Revolution, on to talk with.
Too Young to Be an Expert
I immediately discounted Ms. Cohen. At first. I couldn’t understand how she could claim being an expert on being single and deciding to stay such when she didn’t look like she was even out of her 20s. Shoot, she had plenty of time to meet someone and decide she wanted to marry.
But then she made some remark about, “When I was in my 30s…” I was flabbergasted. That lady’s in her 40s? She sure didn’t look like it.
Single by Choice or Circumstance?
The one thing I noticed about the women interviewed who chose to stay single was they never made relationships a priority. Work and travel were the two things most commonly named that they’d concentrated on doing in their 20s, and even into their 30s.
Then there they were still single in their 40s and they played it off as if they just looked around, shrugged their shoulders, and said, “Oh well. Guess it’s not so bad being single. I’ll stay this way.”
I have a feeling if Mr. Right came along they’d be singing a different tune.
Too Picky?
I say they played it off because most mentioned that they might have married but they’d never met “the one”. Dr. Sills said it’s more likely that they’ve been too picky. They find reasons not to be in a relationship rather than finding reasons to get, or stay, in one.
Also, she said something about single women often come off as too defensive. That reminded me of an article Jade once sent me about a woman who was in a relationship but who planned to never marry. The lady in that article came across as defensive as most of the single women on Today’s show.
Why can’t we just make our choices and be fine with them? Like these single women. They’ve made their choices. Overall they seem fine with it, but…
I sort of got the feeling deep down they’re really not. They’re just finding ways to justify why they’re still single, and, since they can’t change it, they have to deal with it.
But that’s a blog for another day.