I remember when my daughter was just 20 months old and my nephew was visiting. He was just a little over 4, himself. But he was going through a phase of arguing about everything and when he didn’t get his way, he’d scream. Not twenty seconds after the first demonstration of this little talent – my daughter fell into step.
We spent the next two months coping with a toddler who would scream when she didn’t get her way and it was far from a pleasant task. The simple thing is – when toddlers get together with other children, they are going to pick up habits – good and bad.
My screaming nephew is also the reason she ditched her bottle for the sippy cup – on the same trip. I’d tried for months to get her off that last bottle late in the day and to get her drinking from a sippy cup. All to no avail, I fear. Yet, my nephew walked in with his sippy cup from the plane ride and my daughter picked it up and started drinking out of it.
She ditched bottles that night!
Mommy’s Little Mimic
Most toddlers are fantastic mimics and when they see others (especially children) doing different things, they can become fascinated by the behavior. They’ll mimic these new behaviors for a week or two and in some cases longer. Some of the mimicked behavior you may enjoy, because it can be utterly charming – however – the screeching, the blow raspberries and the hitting definitely fall on the less than attractive list.
It’s worth noting that scolding them non-stop is usually less than effective as a deterrent. In fact, toddlers are a stubborn bunch and the more you nag them, the more likely they are to cling to the behavior. One method that often seemed to work with my daughter when she demonstrated one of these less than attractive mimics was the following:
- Tell her no and remind her firmly that we do not spit/hit/scream like that
- Remind only once and if it continues, give them a small timeout by themselves
- Isolation without a large emotional reward of your reaction is a huge turn off for a toddler
If the behavior continues, you may mention it to the other parents and see how they are getting along with curbing the negative behavior. After all, if they are doing nothing about it – that means your toddler will be exposed to it again and again. It may not be pleasant, but I have removed my daughter from exposure to other little ones who’s parents refused to correct them for behavior such as biting, hitting or screaming all the time.
No matter what behavior you are coping with, be sure to involve your co-parent and any caregivers in a united front on that particular behavioral trait.
For Example
My 11-month-old nephew who possesses four teeth now is in the habit of biting down on his grandmother’s hand. She’s let him do this for months, before it was just to give him something to help when he was teething, but now with teeth – the little bugger leaves marks. I told her quite flatly that I thought she should stop letting him bite her — she said it didn’t hurt that much and I pointed out that it was setting a bad precedent. The darling boy proved my point when he seized my arm and bit down on it.
Here’s hoping she gets the point and stops letting him do it – or maybe I’ll have to start biting her! How have you dealt with unattractive mimic behavior in your toddler?
Related Articles:
Five Situations in Which Single Parents Should Ask for Help
Biting: The Hows and Whys to Deal with It
Stay in Control: Toddler Trouble