Sharing is one of those things that every parent wishes would come naturally for their child. Of course, sharing does not come naturally to toddlers. The ability to share grows in a person as the ability to empathize develops. Empathy is the ability to recognize and understand what another person is feeling, and empathy is a complex emotional skill that develops slowly throughout childhood. In other words, expecting a toddler to share is not realistic.
That does not mean that a toddler should be allowed to hog all of the toys at play group, or to snatch toys away from others. It simply means that sharing is a skill that must be learned. Forcing children to share is actually counterproductive, and can hinder the development of sharing skills.
There are ways to lay the foundation for sharing, and to encourage it without forcing the issue. The concept of taking turns is a good place to start. It is important to approach taking turns from the correct perspective. It is one thing to explain to Susie that Billy is playing with the train now, but she can take a turn with it when Billy is finished playing with it. It is another thing altogether to tell Billy that in five minutes, it will be Susie’s turn to play with the train and then insisting (five minutes later) that he hand it over. In the first example, Billy is made aware that Susie is interested in playing with the train, yet he retains ownership of his decision about when he will be done playing with it. In the second example, Billy is told when he will be finished with the train. If he is not ready to hand it over when the adult says that his time is up, the adult grabs (from his perspective) the toy and hands it to Susie.
Of course, Billy’s feelings are not the only feelings that matter here. Susie’s feelings matter too, and as an adult involved in this group setting you can help Susie with her feelings about wanting to play with the train in a way that is respectful to both children. Believe it or not, Susie may not have any issue with Billy playing with the train for as long as he needs to play with it. If she does get upset while she waits, let her know that you will help her wait for her turn. Empathize with her, and let her know that you understand that it is hard to wait. You may even share a story or two with her about times where you had to wait for something and you found it difficult to wait. If she becomes upset, stay with her as she cries and offer your presence and support. She may finish crying and move on to another toy after she has a chance to release her feelings.