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Together but Separate

Some couples feel a little disappointment as the novelty of marriage begins to wear off and their partners begin pursuing separate interests. Having separate interests really isn’t a bad thing and it shows that your marriage is strong when both spouses can keep their own identities and interests while being part of a couple.

You both need time alone as much as you need time together. Going out with friends, taking a weekend trip, or pursuing a hobby or goal alone should not be taken as a slight. It’s healthy to do things separately at times.

While some couples even take separate vacations that is a personal choice, which should be made together. I don’t think I’d like it much, but I don’t mind if say, my husband goes on a fishing weekend or something. Even if we do different things while on vacation, I still want to meet up with him later, and he feels the same way.

We actually had the chance to get away alone together for a weekend once, and I started out wanting to spend every minute together. While we did spend most of the time together, we also did a few things on our own. It was nice. He got the chance to visit Bass Pro Shop while I checked out the mall and did a little shopping. He didn’t have to hold my purse while I tried on clothes, and I didn’t have to walk through miles of sporting goods. A win/win situation.

If your spouse suggests doing things separately at times, understand that it isn’t about getting away from you, it’s about having some time to him or herself or some time to pursue things that you have no interest in. Spouses should never be forced to give up interests just because the other person doesn’t enjoy the activity.

Instead of fretting about it, find something you like to do and take advantage of the opportunity. If nothing immediately comes to mind, simply take the time to pamper yourself or enjoy the down time with a good book. Sooner or later, you too will begin to relish having a little time just for you.