Can you be too agreeable in a marriage? I’m inclined to think you can and it sets up a recipe for boredom.
Yes, it’s great to be in sync with your spouse and agree on most things or even some things. It’s especially important to be in agreement on the major issues, like raising children, discipline, core values, beliefs, family issues, finances, etc. It makes for a harmonious marriage. So does having common interests. But it’s not helpful to agree on every opinion and every interest.
The person, who never has an opinion or makes a decision of their own, quickly becomes boring. You know they type I mean. When asked about what they want to do or where they should go, replies, ‘I don’t mind. You decide. It’s up to you.’ There may be occasions when that is fine. But all the time becomes wearing on the other person to then always be the one to plan and come up with ideas. If you tend to be one of these agreeable people, let me suggest that sometimes your spouse just wants to be relieved of being the one to make decisions and would like some constructive input.
The other problem if a person is too agreeable and holds the same views on everything, is it doesn’t leave a lot of room for discussion. Disagreements will happen in marriage and they should. Thinking alike on major issues is a good thing, but I would hate to be agreed with all the time. Sometimes it might mean one person has to give way on allocation of household jobs, on what to spend money on, or movie to see. But marriage requires compromise.
There may be times when you each need to go and do your own thing or when you agree to disagree on a particular topic. I know when it comes to certain music, books, or certain movies, Mick and I often disagree. But then we will find ones like Last Chance Harvey which was one I suggested we see and Mick was agreeable. The result was we both thoroughly enjoyed it. Very different to the week before when he ended up watching Allo, Allo DVDs while I did something else because I knew our sense of humor doesn’t always agree.
Do you agree or a disagree that complete agreement in a marriage can be bad?
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