As single parents, we are often just “too busy”—too busy to attend all of the functions we are invited to; too busy to stay after hours at work; too busy to shop around for the best bargain. I have even heard parents explain that they would be better parents and provide better limits and more consistency if they just were not ‘too busy’…
For some single parents, there is an assumption that setting rules and limits and being consistent about it takes nonstop diligence. For a working, busy, single parent, it can just be too daunting to think of overseeing chores, checking homework, and saying “no” repeatedly at the end of a long day. Things do not have to be this overwhelming and exhausting however. You do not have to have a hundred rules to oversee, but staying consistent on a few key and important ones can provide the stability and guidance your child or children need.
You may find that putting some basic consistency and structure in place actually makes your life seem LESS busy and hectic. If you know, for example that you will almost always have dinner at a certain time or check your child’s homework every morning—both of you will begin to count on those windows of consistency and they will give shape to a busy day or week.
Additionally, while putting the structure and consistency in place where there has been little may be a bit overwhelming at first, once you and your child or children know what to expect and once the child has tested your conviction, it will get easier and the consistency may actually save you time (since you won’t have to negotiate and re-hash old issues.) If your child knows what is expected and acceptable, and you do too—there is less reason to push and debate every thing that comes up in family life.