For some families, brushing teeth and dental care becomes one of those ongoing power struggles. It might start when kids are young—babies even—and continue on, or it might be something that pops up as children become more independent. What can be done to combat or end the tooth brushing battles?
I have a confession to make—I never brushed my children’s teeth for them. When they were infants, I did wipe out their mouths with a clean cloth during bath time, but once they could sit up for baths and had the finger dexterity, I let them hold their own toothbrush and work at learning to brush their teeth during baths. I gave them autonomy over it from the very beginning and it never was a power struggle. Of course, as they got older, I did remind them to brush their teeth and it became just part of the morning and evening routine. It was never really a question. Have there been cavities? Honestly, yes…and no…two of my children have had a couple cavities and one of my daughters just had her first cavity at the age of 17 (I had my first cavity at the age of 30). All three brush, floss, visit the dentist regularly and have decent dental hygiene—but it is not perfect. We are not a family obsessed with dental care—but everyone brushes and cares for their teeth at least twice a day.
I think that starting out forcing a child to brush her teeth or turning it into one of those things where mom or dad holds the child down and brushes is pretty much a set-up for a power struggle. Why not make it fun and give the child some autonomy over it? Fun toothbrushes and a basic expectation that it is just “one of the things we do” might make it more of a “given” and less of a choice. Brushing teeth can become an expected habit—just like taking a shower, getting dressed, brushing hair, etc., but we parents have to approach it that way. The more pressure we put on a child or the more stress and insecurity we have over the situation, the more likely that a power struggle will develop.
Also: The Dentist who Punched Me
A Quick Guide to Your Baby’s Teeth